By Michael Barbieri***Gurl, this was stupid! Stupid funny, stupid entertaining and most importantly, stupid FUN! It was all kinds of stupid… in the best possible way! Coco Taylor—American Teen Princess was an absolute riot, and a phenomenal way for me to get back into the drag scene at The Laurie Beechman Theatre.
Taylor, known as the kindly and campy queen of NYC, wrote and stars in this wonderfully silly tribute to the 1999 cult comedy film, Drop Dead Gorgeous—a satirical mockumentary about a group of young women in the small town of Mount Rose, Minnesota, competing in the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant. The film stars Kirstie Alley, Kirsten Dunst, Ellen Barkin and Denise Richards. Taylor’s insane drag parody features the talents of Heidi Heaux, Holly Box-Springs, Chola Spears, Aria Derci and Audrey Phoenix, along with Coco Taylor herself as the hostess of the pageant.
Now, I have to admit, I’ve never seen Drop Dead Gorgeous, so I was often a little confused as to what was happening in the show. Also, the entire show is lip synced, i
ncluding the dialogue. Unfortunately, the spoken bits sounded a little muddied, so I often had a hard time understanding what was being “said.” This is all beside the point; having said that, I won’t even attempt to explain the plot. The fun was in the performances from these fabulous queens!
There was a “Why I Love America” event, featuring all of the contestants wearing ludicrous hats exemplifying where they were from. They each explained what America means to them, after which they gave us a hilarious “God, I Hope I Get It,” from A Chorus Line. Coco Ta
ylor lip synced to a version of “Miss Baltimore Crabs,” from Hairspray, in which the phrase “Miss Baltimore Crabs” was replaced with a silly, spoken “American Teen Princess,” that had been dropped into the original recording. It got a laugh every time!
We were also treated to all the girls performing a “physical fitness” routine, to Miami Sound Machine’s “Conga.” At one point in the routine, Heidi Heaux was hit in the head with a cinder block thrown from offstage. These teen queens did NOT come to play!! Chola Spears, as “Mary Johanson” (one of the characters from DDG), was pushed onstage in a wheelchair singing “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” and later, as “Leslie Miller,” gave us an exhausting cheerleader act in a bright yellow unitard. Heidi, as “Tess Weinhaus,” did a ludicrous bit with a dog puppet, which ended with her pulling out her own intestines!
Aria Derci portrayed another of the film’s characters, “Lisa Swenson,” lip syncing to “Theme from New York New York,” “Vogue,” “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and most hysterically, to Patti LuPone’s “STOP TAKING PICTURES!!!” rant from her infamous audience confrontation during a performance of Gypsy! Audrey Phoenix, as “Rebecca Ann Leeman,” did an absolutely filthy—yet funny—tribute to her love of Jesus Christ, and Holly Box-Springs, as “Amber Atkins,” gave us a wonderful medley of “Show Off,” from The Drowsy Chaperone and Cole Porter’s “Anything Goes,” which featured several quick changes done with almost blinding speed!
One of my favorite moments was a duet of “Bosom Buddies,” from Mame, which began with Aria and Heidi doing shots at the bar and ended with them drinking and bitching at each other onstage. Oh, and one of them just might’ve been snatched bald at one point!
Well, the pageant continued to its eventual ending with the winner being chosen and a tragedy befalling the winner and an alternate queen being crowned. To be honest, I wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but again, it doesn’t really matter—it was still preposterously funny.
I’m sure this all sounds very silly, but that’s the point! This wasn’t Shakespeare or Ibsen—this was drag! Pure, funny, campy drag. Even if it was a little hard for me to follow, I had a great time with a loud and resounding “YES!”
I was told that Coco Taylor has been working on American Teen Princess for a while now, tweaking and rewriting bits of it here and there. If so, then I look forward to 
possibly seeing it a little further down the line. If it’s this side-splitting now, it should be completely hysterical with a little more refinement. But I wouldn’t want it to be too refined. The messiness is part of what made this piece so “drop dead funny”!
